cop/person getting a speeding ticket au
David knows he’s fucked when he hears the sirens. He doesn’t even have to make eye contact in the rearview mirror to know that he has to pull over. As he slowly makes his way to the side of the road, he gently smacks the wheel on his car.
He’s going to be even later now and Teddy and Noh are going to start getting drunk without him and all the guys are gonna swarm Teddy and all the girls are gonna swarm Noh and David will once again be left dateless. Even though Teddy and Noh are both in relationships, seriously, where is the justice in this?
The cop takes his time getting out of his car and David takes a deep breath so he can pull a respectful face as he rolls down his window.
"What’s the problem Off- Billy?”
Immediately after he says it, he knows it’s wrong because Billy does not have white hair nor is Billy a cop but the resemblance is uncanny. Especially when the cop pulls a face.
"Every time," he grumbles under his breath, "Every time. Why the hell is he so popular."
"Pardon me?" David asks.
"My name is Tommy," the cop says, "And you obviously know Billy Kaplan. My twin brother. And, for some odd reason, the more popular one. I guess. At this rate anyway."
"Right," David says, "I know Billy through Teddy. We’re bar buddies."
Tommy stares at him, lips quirked. “Bar buddies?”
"He’s a good wing man," David continues even though he doesn’t know why. "Because he attracts a lot of guys. You know. And then passes them off to me because, you know, Billy."
Tommy continues to stare, his lips pursed like he’s holding back laughter and David wouldn’t be surprised if he is.
"So. You pulled me over," David says because right now getting a ticket sounds better than continuing this horrible conversation.
"I did. You ran that stop sign back there," Tommy says, gesturing behind him. "And I was totally prepared to give you a ticket but I just feel really bad for you right now so I think I’ll let you go with a warning."
"That’s not fair," David says, "I broke the law."
"You…you want me to give you a ticket?"
"Not really. But the last thing I want to tell my friends tonight is oh yeah I got out of a ticket because the cop pitied me so bad.”
Tommy laughs and David can’t help but think he’s far more attractive with a smile on his face. And that uniform really doesn’t hurt either. He’s starting to see subtle differences, too, between Tommy and Billy’s faces.
He wonders if it’s just really been that long for him.
"Okay, fine," Tommy says, pulling out his notepad. "Ticket time."
David breathes a sigh of relief and waits for Tommy to finish scribbling down his offense before he hands the ticket over with a flourish.
"You gonna be at Billy and Teddy’s housewarming next weekend?" Tommy asks.
David blinks but nods. “Um. Yeah. I don’t have to work, surprisingly so.”
"Cool," Tommy says and he winks. "See you then."
He struts back to his car and David glances down at the ticket to see nothing but Tommy’s phone number and a winky face next to it.
Despite himself, David smiles.
Everyone gets a laugh when David’s words appear on his skin for the first time
Hey, you look at least ten years less boring than everyone else.
And, yeah, David laughs too because it works for him. He’s kind of a cynic and these words aren’t grand gestures of romance or pledges of eternal loyalty. Whoever his soulmate is, she definitely has a sense of humor and he can dig it.
The thing is though- it takes so long.
David joins the X-MEN and meets so many people and not one of them, ever, says anything along the lines of the words imprinted on his skin.
And, yeah, okay he’s heard stories of people waiting years to find their soulmate but he has basically met every mutant there is give or take and not one of them is his, it’s enough to make him.
Around the time he realizes he may never meet his soulmate, he also realizes he’s stopped gendering said soulmate in his head.
So, at least internally, he’s coming to terms with what he’s suspected for a long time now.
Things go horribly wrong all around and David is sick of putting his trust in people who don’t deserve it. He bails, hardcore and winds up at some Hero for Hire but far more boring temp job. He answers phonecalls, dishes out some info and generally tries to forget a lot of people he’ll never be able to.
He’s walking out of his office when he hears it
"Hey, you look at least ten years boring than everyone else."
He whips around and standing in front of him is a guy with white hair and a cocky grin.
"Let’s go grab some noodles," his soulmate asks him.
David swallows. “Yeah sure. I’m David.”
His soulmate’s eyes widen in realization and he drops the mug of coffee he had but the pooling hot liquid around his feet does little to distract him from staring at David.
"You’re-" and he stops, still staring.
Slowly, David raises his shirt so he can see the words etched around his hipbone- the ones he’d just spoken.
"I’m David," he says, "I mean, I already said that. But hi."
"Tommy," his soulmate says.
"So," David begins after a lengthy silence. "Those noodles?"
Tommy seems to blink himself back again and he nods, a quirk of his lips visible. “Yeah.”
- THE UP SERIES: It follows the lives of 14 children through their lives interviewing them every seven years. It’s amazing to see how they change and where they go. It shows that personality traits do not tend to be very static. Being introverted at 18 doesn’t determine how you’ll be at 32. A girl on there around 20 was totally against having a family and was very cynical about relationships and marriage. Next interview, she was happily wed with children. I link you to 7 UP, which is the first documentary in the series.
- QUEEN OF VERSAILLES:If you have any interest in the SUPER RICH of America and how absolutely delusional they can be, then this documentary will blow your mind. It’s a great window into the lives of people who literally have everything a person could need. Even when they loose everything, they’re entirely incapable of believing that they’re a normal citizen.
- THE ACT OF KILLING: One review describes it as: “This is the most gut-wrenching film I’ve ever seen. It actually makes you understand the nature and true face of evil, and it’s terrifying because it’s so, so normal. After watching it you know that in some other life, you could be him.”
- BABIES: It shows the different ways, different cultures raise their children. It shows how different but similar we all are at the end. They documentary follows 4 different babies, from Mongalia, to Tokyo, to Namibia and then the U.S
- INSIDE NORTH KOREA: An eye-opening film that shows you the truth about a hidden country
- TOUCHING THE VOID: A documentary about two mountain climbers who have an accident on their way back. As one review described it: “Better than any fictional suspense film. Just unreal. You know throughout that the two climbers lived because you’re sitting there watching them narrate, but at times you just can’t believe it.”
- THE COVE: A 2009 documentary film that analyzes and questions dolphin hunting practices in Japan. One review described it as “an impeccably crafted, suspenseful expose of the covert slaughter of dolphins in Japan.”
- THIS IS WHAT WINNING LOOKS LIKE: The documentary follows U.S. Marines as they train Afghan security forces, showing their ineptitude, drug abuse, sexual misconduct, and corruption as well as the reduced role of US Marines due to the troop withdrawal.
- BBC PLANET EARTH (All 11 Episodes): An HD exploration of our world. You’ll just love everything about this, trust me.
- JESUS CAMP: About a Christian summer camp, where children spend their summers being taught that they have “prophetic gifts” and can “take back America for Christ”. This documentary led to the shut down of this summer camp.
You may also like 10 Disturbing Documentaries
Feel free to add to this list!
NORTH KOREA UNDERCOVER: Another NK documentary because while it’s incredibly disturbing, I also found this one to be really interesting. Seems more serious than the other one.